Santa’s Magical Ford Christmas

December 24, 2008 by Brad - Your Car Guy

It was once upon a christmas eve,
as all the children slept in their beds,
that Santa found himself pacing the floor
’cause his reindeer were sick in their heads.
I don’t mean loony, when using that phrase,
they just had an old fashioned head cold.
Except for Rudolph, whom, just between us,
was three presents short of a load.
What do you expect after the teasing he got
because of that flashing red nose,
but that’s another story, not appropriate here,
let’s get back to some happier prose.

Well, Santa was worried about making his rounds
without his flying deer horde
till Dasher tossed him some jangling keys,
said, “No worries, just take my new Ford.
Its a magical car, the only one made
and, though Ford makes a trustworthy steed,
this ones even better, as during your trip,
it becomes whatever model you need.”
“A magical car?” Santa chuckled surprised.
“On your pay how could you afford… ?”
Then Dasher cut him off, with a wave of his hoof,
said, “I got a deal down at Doenges Ford.”

When the car was loaded and ready to roll
Santa made his final list checks,
and confident who was naughty or good
jumped into the new Taurus X.
The car was perfect for cruising the road
on long and tiring trips,
and Santa sat back in the plush captain’s chair,
a big smile bright on his lips.
There was plenty of room for all the cargo he hauled
as he sat back comfortaby thinking,
this state of the art voice activated nav system
is so much better than that darn Rudolph’s blinking.

The first stop on his trip, Manhattan’s tight urban roads
were congested, with traffic not mucus,
and Santa was quickly roused from his thoughts
of retiring in Cabo San Lucas.
It seemed a smaller car, with premium mileage,
was better suited to help Santa get through it,
and low and behold Dasher’s car was a brand new
Ford Fusion before Santa knew it.
The car was just perfect to zip around town
without stopping at every gas pump,
and with plenty of horses and all wheel drive
he was done in a hop, skip and jump.

It was on down to Texas, soon after that,
to spread cheer through the wide sprawling land
and Santa made use of the MP3 jack
to pass the time with his favorite band.
Then it was on a dirt road, in a small Texas town,
as he splashed through the mud and the muck,
Santa ran into a wee bit of trouble
when he found himself suddenly stuck.
But Dasher’s Ford car came through
and in no time, it seems, Santa got himself free
Sitting in the cab of a Ford F-150
Santa shouted Yawhoo! And Yipeee!.

That tough stylish truck made him feel right at home
whether driving in Lufkin or Dallas
and with the new quiet ride and longer leaf springs
he learned why a Texan’s Ford truck is his palace.
So he dropped off the gifts and then headed west
for the final stop of his night,
to drop off some gifts to movie star kids
(at least the ones who’d learned to act right).
It was driving down Rodeo, in Beverly Hills,
after logging mile upon mile,
when Santa found himself in a shinning Ford Flex,
rolling with Hollywood style.

This ride had it all, glitz, glamor and fame
turning heads wherever it went.
With grooved door panels and a three bar chrome grille,
it looked like a star studded event.
Soon, Santa was done with his rounds
and it was time for him to head home,
but he lost track of time, just cruising along,
with a smile as bright as the chrome.
Then in a flash he remembered the words
Mrs. Claus had uttered before he’d begun
“Be home by noon and don’t be late
I’ve got a hair appointment at one.”

And in a flash there came a low growl
as the pedal went to the floor,
a white cloud of puffy billowing smoke
to accompany the powerful roar.
In a sleek screaming Mustang Santa grabbed second gear
and like lightning was gone in a flash,
with three hundred horses churning under his rear
he knew he’d be home in a dash.
The car handled nicely, as he roared towards his home,
giving Santa some moments to think
of talking Dasher into selling this car
and getting Rudolph to visit a shrink.

Mrs. Claus was there smiling as he pulled in the drive
arriving with some time to spare
And Santa sighed and patted the dash
’cause tick off the Mrs. he didn’t dare.
It was Christmas day and all over the land
children found presents under their trees.
And Santa was home and crawling in bed
to catch some much needed z’s.
But it was when he awoke and looked under his tree
that Santa knew he was really adored
as all the reindeers had pooled what money they had
to buy Mr. Claus his own magic Ford.